Monday, July 5, 2010

Blogger Dreams

OK, so I have now come to understand that really, I may never get any better at this whole blogging thing. But I have been doing a lot of blog creeping at some pretty fantastic blogs out there in the last few weeks, and I'm not gonna lie, I feel pretty inspired. To do what, I don't know, but I feel the urge to be better at this none the less. I'm definitely not a super craft woman like some blog ladies out there, although I do so love to read them. I'm pretty sure I'm not the kind of blogger to expend wonderful homemaking advice and info - I'm the one who needs it! And well, I'm not entirely sure our life is interesting enough for everyone to want to read every detail, but it does seem pretty interesting to us most days (Read:Interesting = crazy). But none the less, here is my blog, and I think the only thing I really want out of it is a few good laughs, a record of our lives as they really are, and time to think and relax and write (at least for now, until #2 comes). And who knows, maybe someday, if I can ever manage to keep it up, this will all eventually take shape into something - but I'm OK not counting on that.

So. Our lives right now. If you have been following or if you read the few posts before this one, you'll know that we have had a little boy living with us for the past year. That ended about a month ago pretty unexpectedly, but has been really good for our family. Having Austin with us put a huge strain on our family and caused a lot of unnecessary stress. He was a Difficult kid who had been dealt a pretty crappy deal, and it was hard not to feel for him and want to be able to make a difference. But, with the situation as it was, we eventually came to realize that we were not going to be the ones to do that anymore, and the situation had become toxic for our family. It was definitely a learning experience for us, but in the end brought us closer as a family, and especially helped Paul and I strengthen a marriage. There's nothing like a really trying manipulative 8 year old to teach you how to parent as a couple. It was also hard for me as the last few months I had a hard time feeling like a good parent, especially when Austin was home. I felt like I was always stressed out and upset, which was bad for me both physically (stress + pregnant = not good) and mentally. I felt like Amelia was also not getting the Mommy she deserved because I was always upset or tired or sick, which caused a pretty unhealthy cycle. But, since then, things in our home have taken a pretty fast and great turn upward. I realized very quickly after Austin left how toxic our home had become, and how it was hurting all of us. I feel like we have been able to relax almost instantly and just enjoy being the three of us before Ben comes. I was feeling for a while that Amelia had kind of gotten jiped in the time she has with us, and since we have been able to really be happier together and make some really fun memories. I have even noticed her come out of her shell a little more (not that she is shy or hiding at all) and she has grown and matured in our happier home environment enough that we can see it. I really wanted to make sure she felt secure and loved before Ben comes, and was wondering if we would have enough time, but Heavenly father made a way, and showed us what needed to happen, even if we couldn't see it. I'm so glad and grateful to know we have someone who loves us and our little family that much watching our for us. How can I not feel blessed?

Another sweet side effect of having a little more lime on my hands and a lot less stress has been more time to do things that I enjoy. This means more time for me to pretend I am the super crafty woman I mentioned earlier. There is no end to the very cute and cool things those crafty blog girls out there make, and my list just keeps getting longer and longer. I only have one complaint, and that is that I can never seem to find the cute cheap thrift store finds that they seem to find all of the time. Like I have been on the lookout for cool looking picture frames to paint for this project I'd like to attempt for Amelia's room, and i need a few. But all I can find is not so cute and really expensive! Turns out value village and goodwill are not my friend here like they ones in the states. I think we need a Deseret Industries here, too. Then maybe it would be kind to me! But this is all just in ideas for future projects, as lately I have been mostly crafting for and getting ready for our little man on the way. As surprised as I was to discover we were having a boy, I was excited to. But I have to confess I was also a little worried, as after having Amelia, EVERYTHING we have is pink! we did no gender neutral pre-baby shopping before we had her, so everything is very girly and far from OK for my little man. We have been pretty lucky and gotten lots of stuff from family, but I still wanted to make a few by things, as I did before Amelia. And now we're pretty much ready. There's still a little bit of moving around in the bedrooms to do to make room, but overall we're not doing too badly. It has been a really great outlet and has kept the last few weeks of crazy significantly more bearable for me. But I have to mention how good and patient Paul has been with me, especially when we may go for a few days without seeing the top of our dining room table! Oh how I love him! Hopefully I can get some pics up of my crafty endeavors soon!

I guess before I go I should put a little out there about this pregnancy, as It has been a pretty crazy ride so far. I went into early labor at 28 weeks, but gratefully they were able to stop it. I did get steroid shots though just in case, to help his lungs develop faster in the event that he did come anyway. Well, I am now 36 weeks, and despite contractions and a few concerns about his heart (we are happy to report, he has a great ticker! no problems!) things have gone relatively smoothly and we are pretty grateful to have made it this far. If he was born now he would most likely be perfectly normal and have no problems. and in 7 more days he will be considered full-term! YAY!! But I guess I should say smoothly until last. Currently I see Dr. Barnes (my OB-GYN) every Tuesday and have NST's (non-stress-tests) on the baby every Friday. Until last Tuesday the appointments have been pretty routine and normal. But last week I was in her office and she recorded my blood pressure at 142/100 (normal is below 140/90, for me about 125/80 or lower. So naturally she was pretty concerned and asked me to go right in to the hospital. I went and got Paul and we went in, and by then it was up to 149/100. I should also mention that i went into labor with Amelia at 36 weeks but it stopped and then again 10 days later they induced me because my blood pressure was too high and not going down. I was hovering around 150/100, and got up to 170/110+, if I remember correctly. They did a bunch of tests and it did go back down to normal range after a while, but I have not been feeling great since. I have got a never ending headache (which is strange because I never get headaches) and am dizzy and nauseous a lot of the time. I've been on semi bed rest since I was in the hospital at 28 weeks, but now it seems all I can do is lay down, as that is the only thing that relieves the pressure and dizziness. I have been back twice since then (thats 3 times in the last week) and my pressure has been back up. Last night I had Paul take me in to the Shoppers Drug Mart to check before we decided to go in, so it wasn't for nothing, and It was up to 153/107, which is not good. I haven't seen Dr. Barnes since this all started, but I'm hoping she has some more solid answers for me at my appointment tomorrow. Like what this all means, if she is going to induce me like last time, where the danger zone is, and what the heck I'm supposed to do at home in the meantime if I cannot measure my own blood pressure! Seems like all I know is that its dangerous for both me and him, and not what we are going to do to make sure we are both safe. Here's to hoping!

I guess this is getting a little long winded, and I need to go and rescue my little girl from her bed. Hopefully I will have more info to post tomorrow!

1 comment:

Brooke said...

Hope you're far enough along that you can start hoping he comes soon. I'm excited for you guys.